A GIRL LIKE YOU

Imagine my shock

In the blink of an eye patch

My comic disguise is blown

Embellishing wigs

I’m all make-up and trousers

All over a slide trombone

 

All I want is a girl like you

To love me so long

At the front is a girl like you

Who’s writing this song

 

I fall in the dust

Where the elephant lingers

And gentlemen eat some fire

The flying trapeze

Has her slip through his fingers

He’s testing the safety wire

 

But I just want a girl like you

To love me so long

In the front row, a girl like you

Could do me no wrong

 

I get to my feet

And I stumble and fumble

A couple of children howl

The pie in the face

Says that I can be humble

A load of the parents scowl

 

Through it all is a girl like you

You make me feel strong

All I want is a girl like you

To love me so long

 

All I want is a girl like you

To love me so long…………….

CINEMA HAZE

 

Cinema haze – haven’t been outside of it

In twenty two days – my brain is fried in it

Hyped-up releases

The fun never ceases

I know

 

Cinema haze – on the back row, publishing

Looking to praise – I end up rubbishing

This latest nincompoop

Why do they think he is gold?

 

Got a line – for a headline

Keeping breadlines at the creeping horizon

So I do – my review

Gently skewering this romantic adventure

 

Cinema haze – could have acted years ago

A cynical phrase – impacted years ago

Caused me to falter

And fiendishly alter

My soul

 

I know why – he was vile

By a mile, I was the pride of the stage school

He was crushed – so he rushed

Into print, to decimate my Othello

(What an unpleasant fellow……)

 

Cinema haze – am I twisted round a bit?

Cinema haze – not immensely proud of it

Flickering features

With beautiful creatures

Still roll………

AVAILABLE FOR SELECTION

If you're needing somebody to rescue

All your best laid planning

I'm the best you'll ever hire

Let a matchless armoury impress you

Put me in and I will win your heart's desire

 

I'm available for selection

Available for selection now!

I want to put my body on the line

I'm available for selection now.......!

 

If you're wondering whether I can handle

All the pressure

I can burn the candle at three ends

I have been there, done that

And exploded!

Now I'm back to do the business once again

 

I'm available for selection

Available for selection now!

I want to put my body on the line

I'm available for selection

Available for selection now.......!

 

I'm available for selection

Available for selection now!

I want to put my body on the line

I'm available for selection

Available for selection now.......!

I'VE NEVER LOVED YOU MORE

Dreaming secret pleasures

‘Til you kick me out of bed

I land in pizza on the floor

I’m picking bits out of my head

 

I’ve never loved you more

I’ve never loved you more than I do now

I’ve never loved you more than I do now

 

Trip into the bathroom

Over hangers, pants and chairs

Slip on the mat, you ponder that

Before you push me down the stairs

 

I’ve never loved you more

I’ve never loved you more than I do now

I’ve never loved you more than I do now

 

Smelling something dying

I look around to find a peg

Before my nose gets repose

I feel a rat run up my leg

 

Although I’m fond of dancing

This is not the time or place

I flick it off, my hands aloft

And watch it hit you in the face

 

I've never loved you more

I’ve never loved you more than I do now

I've never loved you more

I’ve never loved you more than I do now

I’ve never loved you more

I’ve never loved you more than I do now

I’ve never loved you more than I do now

LYING DOWN

My friend says that you’ve been let down before

Broken promises left you insecure

Don’t you worry for a minute

Live this moment, now you’re in it

I can show you what you should be living for

 

Don’t have to take it lying down, anymore

Don’t have to take it lying down

Come out and fight your corner

 

You might think it’s impossible to change

A world so broken, you cannot re-arrange

In your own small way, it’s easy

If the day is saying “seize me”

Take it with both hands, before it’s out of range

 

Don’t have to take it lying down, anymore

Don’t have to take it lying down

Come out and fight your corner

Don’t have to take it lying down, anymore

Don’t have to take it lying down

Come out and fight your corner

 

Don’t let anything constrict you

Looking at the bigger picture

This can be the liberation you desire

 

Don’t have to take it lying down, anymore

Don’t have to take it lying down

Come out and fight your corner

Don’t have to take it lying down, anymore

Don’t have to take it lying down

Come out and fight your corner

CURRENTLY RESTING

I’m currently resting

Taking a day or two

I’m only assessing

Everything that I can do

 

Sold encyclopaedia door to door

Now it’s over, handed back the Rover

And I’m lying on my floor

 

I’m currently resting

Taking a day or two

I’m only assessing

Everything that I can do

 

Maybe drive a tractor down the road

Making sure that it is all secure

I wouldn’t want to shed my load

 

I’m currently resting

Taking a day or two

I’m only assessing

Everything that I can do

 

If you need plumbing

Call, I’ll be coming

I won’t be slumming it ‘til I’m through

 

So tomorrow, I’ll be on my bike

Delivering flowers, working zero hours

Of a contract I don’t like

I’m currently resting

Taking a day or two

I’m only assessing

Everything that I can do

 

If you need pointing

Some dove-tail jointing

I won’t be disappointing you

 

Repeat 1st verse

 

Chorus x 2

AFTERTHOUGHT

Why do you treat me like an afterthought?

I can’t compete if I’m your last resort?

I won’t be plan B

I want to rewrite your history….but

I’m never going to be anybody’s afterthought

 

Craving my fingertips – an afterthought

Wearing me upon your hips – an afterthought

I’d be stranded, girl

If I took you for granted, girl - so

Why should we ever be - anybody’s afterthought?

 

Let me be the first thing on your mind

I’m not looking for a reason, baby

To leave this love behind

 

So don’t let me dangle in an afterthought

While you are strangling that astronaut

Come back down to earth

I still adore you, for what it’s worth, but

I’m never going to be anybody’s afterthought

 

Lead

 

Repeat middle

 

Repeat 1st verse

THE UNKNOWN

Reproduction is our means of creation

Never ceasing to amaze and delight

Are you contemplating fertilisation

Or some other way of spending the night?

 

The unknown is all-knowing

Of the known it may know is unknown to us now

 

So gestation is correctly proceeding

Mama’s vital signs have got to be fine

Daddy has to be around if she’s needing

Folic acid or a wash on the line

 

Chorus

 

Square prong

In a black, untarnished hole somewhere in time

Might save the world

 

Lead

 

Chorus

 

Repeat middle

 

At the moment of umbilical severance

Will the separation prove to be grave?

Or the makings of a wonderful person

Kind-hearted, confident, intelligent, brave

 

The unknown is all-knowing

Of the known it may know is unknown

The unknown is all-knowing

Of the known it may know is unknown

The unknown is all-knowing

Of the known it may know is unknown to us now

SO MANY TIMES BEFORE

You’re lost in love – you wouldn’t believe it

You’ve lost your heart – you want to retrieve it

Your life is in her hands

And the vice-like grip is sore

Just like it’s been

So many times before

 

You loved this girl – as soon as you met her

No matter what – you cannot forget her

She really counts on you

But you think she’s keeping score

Just like it’s been

So many times before

 

Love affairs have left you scarred

They’re so long and they’re so damned hard

The brightest day or the blackest night

You never seem to get the balance right

 

You’re lost in love - and there’s a new rumpus

You’re poles apart – you don’t have a compass

There’s no direction home

So you head down town for more

Just like you’ve done

So many times before

 

I hope that you can find a friend

Who will bring this to an end

And steer you from extremes

So you can open up and find your dreams

 

Now then, son, relax - don’t hold her to ransom

Look at the facts – she thinks that you’re handsome

Despite a face like cheese

And a brain made out of straw

Just like it’s been

So many times before